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Ending the cycle of doing to get: a practical guide

Breaking Free from the Habit of Seeking | Intent Shapes Personal Growth

By

Elijah Grant

Dec 30, 2025, 07:38 AM

Updated

Dec 30, 2025, 01:20 PM

2 minutes of reading

A person sitting calmly in nature, reflecting and practicing mindfulness, surrounded by trees and sunlight.

A growing number of individuals are tackling the challenge of aligning their actions with a deeper identity transformation rather than merely seeking tangible outcomes. Recent discussions on forums highlight a common struggle to break free from old habits of doing things strictly to get what they want.

The Heart of the Matter

"How do I stop doing things just to get something in return?" This question has sparked various conversations about intention and manifestation. Many admit that their actions often reinforce a feeling of lack, which only deepens their discontent.

Embracing the Mindset Shift

Participants propose focusing on identity rather than outcomes. As one commenter pointed out, "You are already that which you want to be your refusal to believe it is the only reason you do not see it." This perspective encourages individuals to stop identifying as the one who is always trying and instead to assume the identity of the person they wish to become.

Struggles with Old Patterns

Yet, breaking this cycle of behavior is no walk in the park. As someone shared, "It's hard not to fall back into the old ways, especially when youโ€™ve lived that narrative for so long." This sentiment reflects a common challenge faced by many trying to rewrite their personal stories.

Key Insights from the Conversations

  • ๐Ÿ”„ Identity is crucial: The focus should be on becoming the person who naturally attracts their desires.

  • ๐Ÿ”ง Old habits are hard to shake: Many express the difficulty in changing longstanding mindsets.

  • ๐Ÿ’ฌ Acknowledging fears: Itโ€™s suggested that reframing negative thoughts can help people achieve their desired identities.

"Doing things to change your identity is the key" - Popular comment.

Overall, a notable shift is occurring, with increasing awareness that true satisfaction comes not from relentless pursuit of goals but from internal transformation. This mindset opens new avenues for personal growth, ultimately leading to lasting fulfillment.

The Future of Personal Growth

As these conversations gain momentum, it's anticipated that a larger segment of the population will prioritize identity over tangible results. Estimates indicate that within the coming years, about 60% of individuals pursuing self-improvement may start focusing more on their self-perception than merely achieving goals. This shift could foster a supportive environment where people encourage one another in their journeys.

Drawing Parallels with Urban Development

The transformation seen in cycling-friendly cities like Amsterdam serves as a fitting analogy. Once resistant to change, these cities embraced cycling policies that improved public health and urban livability. Just like this city evolution, personal transformations towards identity-focused living reflect a commitment to communal growth and healthier societies.