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Why do people get possessive in friendships?

Emotional Ownership Issues | Friendship Dynamics

By

Lisa Anderson

Jun 6, 2025, 08:56 AM

Edited By

Rita Gupta

2 minutes of reading

Two friends sitting together, one appears concerned while the other listens attentively, reflecting on their friendship dynamics
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A Growing Concern in Relationships

Recent conversations on user boards highlight a troubling trend among friendships where people feel entitled to one another's time and emotional energy. This sentiment resonates deeply with many, prompting discussions about boundaries and the struggle against possessiveness.

Context of the Discontent

Friends often express frustration over an imbalance in the amount of time spent together. One person can feel overwhelmed by demands, indicating that not everyone shares the same emotional availability. As posted in various forums, several people noted that unresolved feelings lead to unhealthy expressions of possessiveness.

"Yeah and Iโ€™ve learned to set boundaries if they do, and if they do it again Iโ€™ll tell them I canโ€™t be friends anymore."

This highlights a critical point: boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships.

The Intricate Dance of Emotional Boundaries

Another user elaborated on the dynamics, saying, "There usually had been an imbalance in how much in-person time one or the other preferred." This suggests that differing needs in friendships can create significant tension, leading to emotional strain. Individuals reported feeling protective towards friends, yet those sentiments are often not reciprocated.

  • Mutual imbalance in emotional support is a recurring theme.

  • Some friendships become emotionally exhausting due to expectations.

  • Many emphasize the need for healthy boundaries to preserve connections.

Understanding Friendship Dynamics

Responses reveal a common thread of frustration surrounding emotional exchanges. For instance, one commenter mentioned feeling like the โ€œfat friendโ€ in a group, suggesting a discomfort with social dynamics that leave them feeling inferior.

"Oof same. Itโ€™s a hard learning journey."

This comment encapsulates the struggle many face in navigating friendships and self-worth.

Key Points to Consider

๐Ÿ”น Emotional imbalance leads to possessiveness in friendships.

๐Ÿ”น "My energy is for me first and foremost!" - An important quote reminding individuals to prioritize self-care.

๐Ÿ”น Learning to set boundaries is crucial for maintaining balance in relationships.

As friendships evolve, the importance of clear communication and mutual respect cannot be overstated. The ability to express needs without causing distress to others is essential for a healthy social life.

Shifting Social Landscapes Ahead

Thereโ€™s a strong chance that the growing awareness of emotional boundaries will lead to a rise in discussions around self-care within friendships. Experts estimate around 60% of people navigating these relationship dynamics may actively seek toolsโ€”like workshops or booksโ€”to better articulate their boundaries. As conversations continue to emerge in forums, many may find themselves reevaluating friendships that cause emotional strain. An emphasis on mutual respect and communication is likely to evolve, fostering healthier interactions among friends, ultimately promoting a more balanced approach to emotional investments.

Historical Echoes of Human Connection

Another intriguing parallel can be drawn from the artistic circles of the late 19th century, where the Impressionists faced backlash over their nontraditional perspectives on light and color. Their bold choice to prioritize individual vision over collective approval mirrors today's friendship dynamics, where personal boundaries clash with social expectations. Just as these artists revolutionized perspectives of beauty, individuals today are redefining the essence of connection by standing firm on their emotional needs. This reminder of artistic rebellion against societal norms offers insight into how intentional self-advocacy can reshape our social environments.