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Should kindness be earned? a deep dive into empathy

Kindness Sparks Debate | Should It Be Default or Earned?

By

Irvin Sutherland

Apr 18, 2025, 01:14 PM

Edited By

Fiona Kelly

Updated

Apr 20, 2025, 10:01 AM

Just a minute read

A man and woman sharing a smile, representing kindness and empathy in human connection

A recent discussion among people on social platforms has reignited the debate over the nature of kindness. Participants are split on whether kindness should be an innate quality or a privilege to be earned, highlighting divergent views shaped by personal experiences and cultural backgrounds.

Challenging Norms

The conversation was sparked by a post from an individual raised in a collectivist culture where kindness was seen as a basic expectation. This has led to many others weighing in, revealing a range of perspectives on the topic.

Themes Emerging in the Debate

  1. Defaults vs. Conditional Kindness: A number of comments revealed a strong belief that kindness should be a starting point in interactions. One remarked, "It costs nothing to be kind."

  2. Cultural Perspectives: Contributors shared insights from their backgrounds. One commenter noted the necessity of kindness in a collective society, saying, "empathy is not a luxury; itโ€™s a necessity."

  3. Complex Definitions: Some argued that kindness means different things to different people, asserting it doesnโ€™t imply passivity. A user pointed out, "Being kind requires strength of characterโ€”the opposite of weak."

"I try to be kind, but it seems to be taken the wrong way," stated one participant, illustrating the gray areas of kindness as it relates to perception.

Sentiment Verdict

The general sentiment appears to lean towards kindness being an essential baseline for human interaction, despite some concerns about manipulation and transactional relationships.

Findings from the Discussion

  • โญ Many advocate for kindness as the natural starting point in relationships, creating a more compassionate environment.

  • ๐Ÿ”„ Some see kindness as conditional, shaped by individual experiences and societal influences.

  • ๐Ÿ’ช "Performative kindness is patronizing" resonates with many, underscoring the value of genuine interactions.

This ongoing dialogue around kindness not only influences individual relationships but reflects broader societal values. As the conversation evolves, it begs the question: How do we ensure that kindness remains authentic and meaningful in a complex world?